I wish I can just delete all the memories I've had with you. I wish every time you cross my mind I would not feel any pain, even the slightest ache. I wish I could talk to you and act as if nothing ever happened between us. But unfortunately, I can't. Or today isn't the day all these things would happen. It's hard to let go of someone that once meant the whole world to you.
You made me feel like you really like me and then suddenly leave me hanging. Why would you blame it all on me when all I ever did was to love you as much as I could? Do you think I have no idea on what was happening between you and your ex? Do you think I didn't know all the things you said and did to her? And now you're making me feel like I'm the one who cheated on you? Let me tell you, that's complete and utter bullshit. I know everything but I was too blind to believe. I just didn't tell you because I was too afraid that if I did tell you or even ask you about it, all the rumors that I heard about you would turn out to be true. I didn't let you know that I was affected because I was thinking that if ever I brought this topic on you, we would have tons of arguments and maybe end up losing you. I kept it to myself but still the outcome was the same. And now I've come to the realization that it's a shame I've let myself hurt by the same guy twice.
In my point of view, I think you didn't deserve a girl who loved you unconditionally and whole-heartedly even if you've hurt her a thousand times without you knowing it. How can you be so numb to not even notice every suffering and pain I was dealing with when I was still blinded by the idea of being in love with you? Tell me, was it easy? Telling all those cute stuffs to her and don't mean every little thing you say?
I'm not being bitter about you.. I just want to let my feelings out. After all, I deserve this. I'm just done. I don't want to be, I miss "us" but I'm just getting hurt. I'm going to make myself get over you, no matter how hard it is, no matter how much it hurts, I need to move on. As much as you'd like to start talking to someone else, to forget about you, I'm going to do everything but to break the ignorance of my thick skull and to forget how much you meant to me, how happy you once made me. Soon enough, you'll just be a distant memory. I can't say I'm over you, but soon enough, I will be. It's hard since you were once so important to me, a part of my daily routine. I'm wasting time wishing and thinking, wondering and pondering, I'm wasting time, I wasted time. But I'm done. Sincerely and genuinely, I want to be done.
bloggin'
xx, ThePoseidonKid
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